The trouble with being “somewhat” traditional, with a 20-something’s libido.

Disclaimer: I realise I have family who will read this so I just want to put in a warning. I am not crass, nor will I ever be crass, but the following blog will be talking about sex. If you don’t want to know anything about my opinions on sex and the like, well I suggest you stop reading now. I’m in my late 20’s and I am sexually active, it’s a fact of my adult life. Dad, this is probably not one for you.
Consider yourself appropriately warned.




It’s a big fact of life but sometimes when you’re a single girl, it can be a tough thing to navigate. As much as we like to think that the world has evolved, and that women and men are now equals, the fact of the matter is that we still live in a time of double standards; especially when it comes to sex. Don’t worry, I’m not about to delve into a night-long rant about feminism, but the reality is that when it comes to sex, we ladies still somehow draw the rough hand.


We still live in a time where girls are shamed for having a high partner count, or for sleeping with a guy to soon, or even for being too open about her sex life.


Now, I say go forth ladies and have sex with whomever you want, whenever you want, if that is what YOU want. If you want to sleep with a different guy every night of the week, and that is fulfilling enough for you, then I say you go right ahead sista; there ain’t no shame in owning your sexuality (I would just really recommend regular STD checks and a healthy supply of condoms). Slut shaming is quite frankly one of my biggest pet peeves, and just because a lady enjoys frequent encounters does not make her any less of a lady. But for me, personally, casual sexy times with new gentlemen callers, just isn’t enough.


I am not someone who believes that you need to be in love with someone to have sex with them. Sometimes you just meet someone, and hot damn, all common sense goes out the window and its all physical and fabulous, and just a bit of fun. And sometimes, well sometimes you just get an itch that you really need to scratch amirite? Girl’s got needs, but it’s a tricky tightrope when you are a singler-than-single lady who doesn’t want to sleep with half the single male population.


So what is a gal to do?


I am a believer that sex with someone you have meaningful connection with is ALMOST always better. But when you are a single gal, with no current dating prospects, and certain needs shall we say, then the whole thing becomes somewhat of a sex conundrum. I’m not some kind of sex-crazed maniac, I have willpower and I’m not the kind of gal to just jump in bed with just any willing gentlemen. I’ve had droughts, trust me; I have had some almighty dry spells. Which is maybe in part the problem. But where do you find that line? And my god, how the fuck do you maintain your sanity and keep some semblance of balance?


Does anyone know? Help a sista out.



One thought on “The trouble with being “somewhat” traditional, with a 20-something’s libido.

  1. I am of the impression that there is no ‘balance’ to find when it comes to emotionless sex.
    I believe that anyone who says otherwise is either lying or within their own ignorance because of a deeply rooted internal issue.

    The line you mentioned is not some fragile tightrope, drawn there to be tip-toe’d across.
    It is there for you to pick a side.

    Enjoyed the read, thanks.


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