Ahhhhhh the “nice guy”. Not be confused with the actual legitimate nice guy, the “nice guy” is something altogether different.
What is a “nice guy” I hear you ask?
The “nice guy” is a man or boy who perceives himself a nice guy but tends to only act ‘nice’ for the soul purpose of getting something from you. Yes, as a general rule, people do sometimes do things in the hope of some kind of reciprocal favour, but the “nice guy” operates under the douchebag train of thought that he is OWED something simply for acting like a decent human being.
HINT: A guy who thinks he is owed something for being nice; isn’t actually being a nice person.
I had a recent run in with a “nice guy”. I’m currently away on a bit of a country placement so WOOHOO I’ve found myself in a whole new dating pool. Fresh Tinder matches all round!!
Now I wouldn’t say that I have a strict type when it comes to the male species, but as a general rule it looks a little like a rugby player; solid build, dark features, quite manly in the traditional sense and some of my friends would press to add that I like ‘em a touch on the hairy side. I mean, a square jaw has me weak at the knees, and if his quads are bigger than mine that is a ‘hallelujah’ but they aren’t necessary requirements. Anywhooooo, back to the story.
Mr “Nice Guy” was not my usual type. He was solid, but more bodybuilder than rugby player and far more preened than what I’d usually go for. But like I said, I’m not a strict type tart so I figured that I’d give the guy a go. Now looking back, I should have realised straight away that he was going to fall into the “nice guy” category when I read his profile and it had some wanky statement about not judging a book by its cover.
Hindsight is a glorious thing isn’t it?
We spoke for a week or so before I ended up being out on the town in his town and he came out and met up with me. He walked me home, we made out a bit and that was how the night ended.
I had quite a bit to drink that night, so needless to say I was not in the greatest shape on Sunday. He text me most of the day on and off, and granted, I was not necessarily the greatest replier. I certainly was by no means intentionally ignoring him, but between the raging headache and the napping my general chattiness levels were lower than usual.
He clearly did not take that well. About dinnertime he sent me a slightly bizarre message asking if he should just stop messaging me all together. I was confused. I told him I was just hung over. He said that he wouldn’t ‘bother’ me for the rest of the night and I could message him the next morning if I wanted to continue talking to him. I found the whole conversation a tad absurd so my response was something along the lines of ‘haha okay then goodnight’. His response was ‘I’m not laughing actually’.
I drew the line at that. You don’t need the play by play but that was my red flag. Blocked and removed.
Now some people may think I overreacted but I don’t like anyone who tries to make people feel bad as a way to get what they want. Besides being incredibly arrogant, NOT TO MENTION the sheer ridiculousness of the whole conversation, well I certainly wasn’t going to be continuing down that road.
The signs were there. In our exchanged messages he talked a lot about how he is ‘such a romantic’ and ‘really shy’, and after our meet/walk home he had to make a point on more than one occasion, of mentioning how he was such a stand up gentleman for not trying to have his way with drunk ol’ me.
There are real nice guys, real romantic guys, and genuine shy guys. But, IF YOU HAVE TO SAY WHAT A GREAT GUY YOU ARE, YOU PROBABLY AREN’T THAT GREAT.
Here’s hoping I’ll have better luck with the next one.
Wish me luck!