I’ve had some time off work so I’ve been trying to get back into this writing thanggg, partly because people have been telling me how much they miss my regular posts (hellloooo, big head expanding) but mostly because it is something I genuinely love to do. I tell people all the time; I honestly forgot how much I enjoy writing when it’s for myself. To then share with other people. LOLZ.
This installation of The Single Sista is in reference to my latest trash TV obsession; Bachelor in Paradise: Australia. Now as most of my readership are Aussie based I’m going to assume prior knowledge as to what Bachelor in Paradise is about, but for anyone living under a rock basically the gist of the show is that they drop a bunch of cast offs from the previous seasons of The Bachelor/Bachelorette onto a gorgeous tropical island; fill them with booze and then watch chaos ensue.
Now granted; these are all thin, gorgeous, “conventionally” attractive (not to mention predominantly white) people which aren’t a realistic representation of everyday society in a lot of ways, but I couldn’t help but be shocked at how a show so unrealistic could mirror genuine dating dilemmas so accurately.
The normal Bachelor/Bachelorette scenario has multiple women/men vying for the attention of a singular man/woman but the premise of the Bachelor in Paradise sees the power switch weekly between the men and the women on the reg.
The words ‘connection’, ‘spark’ and ‘paradise’ are mentioned almost constantly and the contestants appear to be pretty bloody drunk an alarming amount of the time (I’m looking at you Jake “Drunk-Eyes” Ellis).
But hey, if I was on a beautiful island with an open bar; I’m tipping I’d be looking much the same.
And yet by some fascinating happenstance I can’t help but draw disturbingly similar parallels between that of the show and that of real life dating.
Sure, in real life we aren’t all size 6-8 glamazons; with perfect hair and enviable bikini bods who can sit around drinking cocktails all day and not get fat:
BUT. I. TELL. YOU. WHAT.
Those gals are facing the same dating dilemmas as we are sistas.
One of the guys on the show literally made the comment, pretty much verbatim; “I just don’t want to tie myself down too early. I’m really attracted to her but you just don’t know who else might come along” and I can’t think of a more accurate quote to describe modern dating as it stands.
LIKE FUCK. SERIOUSLY?
These girls are constantly questioning themselves and how these guys feel about them and *some* of these guys only further perpetuate their own problems. One idiot is all like “plzzzz all I want is a good time and no draaaama”, meanwhile he’s the person lying unnecessarily to multiple women and thinking they won’t find out.
MATE; first of all, you ARE the drama, and secondly, there is like 20 people on this island and you’re all always drunk, how you honestly thought you’d get away with that one is beyond me.
These stunning, strong women sitting there trying to work out mixed messages and making excuses for some of these dip-wads is equal parts comforting and depressing to watch.
On one hand, it’s reassuring to know that even if I looked like a young Elle Macpherson I might still wonder why that guy who’s been super interested suddenly drops off the face of Earth; or why he says one thing but then does another. But it’s also a horrifying realisation of just how fraught with disappointment modern dating is, and it doesn’t give me a whole lot of hope about finding genuine connection in a world of superficiality and always waiting for something “better” to come along.
The other night a vile, chauvinistic Canadian ring-in was dropped onto Paradise Isle and some of the girls went a little ga-ga.
Now I’m no trained psychological professional but honestly I think the only reason the girls were attracted to him was because he actively pursued them and made them feel wanted. That’s a sad statement on dating; that women are willing to overlook the most foul characteristics of a man, just because he will actively make her feel desired. The Aussie guys are sitting back going ‘Gee I hope she realises how much I like her and what a dick this guy is’ without actually making any effort to show or tell the girls they were interested in that they were actually interested in them.
Where the bloody hell is the logic in that fellas?
I’m not saying that some, if not all these girls aren’t without their faults and I’m not saying that I don’t believe some of these people have formed genuine connections on this show coz for all intents and purposes it appears to happening for some of them.
SO FAR.
Coz let’s be honest, it is “reality TV”, it is still early days and we have a lot more drunk eyes, drop ins and rose ceremonies before this show comes to an end.
You could say I’m a cynical optimist.
What I do know is that an everyday open bar would certainly make the whole real life dating adventure more enjoyable.
Is there some way we can make that happen?
CJ
XX
The Single Sista 